Social Skills Challenges

Most of us experience social awkwardness. We often struggle to pick up on social cues, maintain boundaries, or manage our emotions effectively.

This can lead to discomfort not just for others, but for ourselves as well. Frustration can build during social interactions, causing us to feel overwhelmed.

Numerous factors contribute to this, including sensory overload and mismatched energies.

So, how can we navigate these situations?

Setting yourself up for success is crucial!

Try to minimize distractions by finding a quiet spot for conversation in busy settings. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb to avoid notifications, or keep it tucked away to resist the urge to scroll.

Preparation is key for social interactions!

I enjoy preparing for conversations because it makes it easier to engage. While we often tend to overshare, it’s helpful to encourage others to share about themselves too!

I have a go-to list of questions to help others open up. People generally enjoy talking about themselves, and when they do, it paves the way for more meaningful conversation. You could ask simple questions like, “What do you do for work?” or “What brought you to this event?” to keep things casual.

Then, the trick is to ask questions that allow you to respond as well:

• “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?”
• “Do you have any pets?”
• “What hidden talents do you possess?”
• “What types of music or movies do you enjoy?” or “Have you seen ‘x’?”
• “What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received?”

These questions might feel odd at first, but they often elicit heartfelt responses that you can relate to.

Avoid discussing politics, religion, or sexual preferences unless you’re in a safe space meant for such conversations.

Forgetfulness

We’ve all experienced that moment of rushing out the door only to realize we’ve forgotten something crucial.

“Oops, I left my keys behind!”

You dash back inside, only to remember your wallet is missing. In a frenzy, you search everywhere, only to find your wallet in the fridge where you accidentally placed it.

Is it just me who experiences this?

We are inherently forgetful, but it’s not merely forgetfulness; it’s more about misplacing information in our minds. Interestingly, I can recall trivial details that hold no value to anyone, like my childhood phone number or the optimal way to navigate the first 20 levels of a character in the original World of Warcraft.

However, I often struggle to remember where I put my keys and wallet.

To manage forgetfulness, I rely on two strategies:

1. Utilizing External Reminders and Contextual Cues
2. Establishing Routines

These two strategies complement each other.

I place a post-it note on my counter that says, “Place Wallet and Keys Here!”

By consistently doing this, it becomes an eye-catching reminder that I instinctively look for. This small tactic helps combat forgetfulness.

Inattention

Being unable to focus during conversations or follow instructions can lead to embarrassment and frustration for everyone involved.

I admit that sometimes, we simply zone out during dull or uninteresting situations.

However, it can come off as rude to just disengage or walk away during these moments.

Many times, I’ve wanted to leave a meeting because I was utterly bored, but that wouldn’t reflect well on me.

So, how can we manage these periods of inattention?

Engaging in discreet stimming activities can help as long as they’re not disruptive. For instance, shaking your leg, tapping a pen, or scribbling might draw attention.

Instead, I prefer subtle hand exercises that remain mostly out of sight, like touching each finger to my thumb. It’s quiet and doesn’t attract attention.

This method keeps me focused during dull moments.

Rewards can also be effective.

“For getting through this meeting, I’ll treat myself to a coffee or snack.”

It’s the little incentives that make a difference.

Impulsivity Control

Many of us struggle with controlling our impulses.

The challenge is that we often act without considering the consequences.

Interrupting others, making inappropriate comments, or acting out impulsively are common issues.

This is a constant battle for me, as I’m sure it is for many. Recognizing when you’re being impulsive is the first step; once you do, you can redirect your actions.

Taking a moment to pause is crucial. Instead of reacting immediately, stop and consider your impulse.

If you feel the urge to eat five cheeseburgers without thinking, pause and ask yourself:

“Does this align with my goals?”

If you’re working on weight loss, you’ll realize it doesn’t.

Also, gaining awareness of your triggers for impulsivity is important. Pay attention to situations, emotions, or thoughts that spark impulsive responses.

For example, if you find that having cash leads to unnecessary spending, stop carrying cash.

If you realize shopping while hungry prompts you to buy unhealthy items, have a small snack before heading to the store.

In conversations, if you tend to interrupt or blurt out comments, practice active listening and wait for appropriate moments to respond.

Procrastination

Imagine it’s just two hours before a deadline you’ve known about for weeks, and you find yourself scrambling to complete two weeks' worth of work in that short timeframe. You manage to finish, but barely.

You’ve likely spent excessive time avoiding the task at hand. Your colleagues and boss notice your lack of contribution, leading to frustration, even if you ultimately complete the work. The stress of last-minute rushes lingers.

This issue often stems from challenges with task initiation and time management.

Large projects can feel overwhelming and induce panic when viewed as a whole.

To tackle them efficiently, break them down into smaller, manageable tasks. Setting clear goals for each task—some of which may only take a few minutes—makes a significant difference.

When you break down a large project into manageable steps, it transforms the entire process.

Allow yourself ample time to complete each task, and you’ll find it easier to work through your to-do list and finish ahead of schedule.

This approach requires practice and patience.

While I still struggle with this for certain projects, I’ve learned that when I skip the planning step, I often end up rushing and feeling overwhelmed.

In contrast, when I take the time to plan and break tasks down, I consistently find myself completing them smoothly.

Establishing Rituals

Ultimately, it's about creating rituals around these traits to help counteract them.

Establishing habits like making lists, using post-it notes, practicing active listening, and employing other tools is essential for navigating the challenges we face as neurodivergent individuals.

We may still encounter comments from others about our behavior or be asked, “Why did you do that?!”. When that happens, we can respond:

“That’s just part of who I am. I’m aware that it might not make sense to you, but I’m actively working on it every day.”

You don’t need to hide your quirks. Being open about your ADHD and your efforts to manage it is empowering.

Until these mental exercises become second nature, we’ll tackle them one situation at a time.

If you appreciate my insights on ADHD, neurodiversity, mindfulness, and more, feel free to follow my work! You can also explore my fine art photography or check out my book, “Tools for Navigating Neurodivergence,” available in various formats on Amazon. Don’t forget to listen to my podcast, “Navigating Neurodivergence,” where I discuss experiences with others who share similar journeys.

And remember, you’re not alone!