Chapter 1: Understanding Your Journey

Before embarking on the therapeutic journey, it’s crucial to grasp what to anticipate during your initial visit.

At one point in my life, I found myself at a significant low. I was perpetually upset and frustrated, and my inner turmoil seemed insurmountable. Identifying the reasons behind my anger became increasingly difficult, leading to intense outbursts that left me feeling drained and unrecognizable. The episodes escalated over time, often leading to moments I couldn’t recall. Unfortunately, those around me bore the brunt of my frustration, not because they deserved it, but because I was overwhelmed with self-directed anger. In an attempt to alleviate that inner pain, I displaced it onto others.

Last December, I made the decision to seek help. I researched therapists in my area and scheduled a preliminary phone consultation. Nothing could have prepared me for that call. While I had imagined how it might go, the reality struck me with paralyzing fear. I felt exposed, as if my flaws were laid bare before me.

I vividly remember that phone call; it took place in a dimly lit grocery store parking lot in the freezing December air. When the therapist asked why I sought therapy, I found myself stumped. I had never really contemplated the underlying reasons for my call—perhaps I had assumed the therapist would already know. It was a moment of raw vulnerability, forcing me to confront aspects of myself that I had spent years trying to suppress. Speaking about these issues was terrifying, as it meant giving life to the very things I wished to hide.

Section 1.1: The Reality of Therapy

Therapy is not a quick solution; it’s a process that requires commitment.

Think of therapy as you would any long-term commitment, like exercising or mastering a new skill. Just as the beloved quote from "Shrek" suggests, we are like onions with multiple layers. It takes time to peel back these layers, and the process can be daunting. The fear of being vulnerable, of facing the unknown, can make it difficult. However, it’s essential to stay focused on the journey ahead, appreciating the experiences along the way, for life encompasses both its joys and challenges.

Section 1.2: Embracing Emotional Release

Expect to shed tears—lots of them.

In the early months of my therapy, I found myself crying incessantly. Breaking down the emotional walls I had built over the years was overwhelming. For those of us who thrive on control, this sudden release can be shocking. The numbness I had felt for so long turned into a torrent of emotions as I began to let go of my suppressed sadness and trauma. And that’s perfectly okay!

It’s common to feel as if you’re regressing and falling back into the dark places you’ve been trying to escape. However, once you’ve opened up about your struggles, you can never revert to ignorance. The contents of Pandora’s box are out, and there’s no turning back.

Chapter 2: The Importance of Patience

Being patient and gentle with yourself is essential—good things take time.

The barriers we erect often take years to build, and dismantling them is not an overnight task. Total dedication is necessary for therapy to yield results. Some sessions will be more challenging than others, but with consistent effort, you will see gradual changes. Acknowledge the work you’ve done and the skills you’ve acquired, as they empower you to protect yourself from past hurts.

Be kind to yourself; the narrative you tell yourself matters. If you engage in negative self-talk, you may begin to believe those untruths. Remember, this journey can be long and exhausting, and there will be moments when you feel tempted to give up. Stick with it, allowing at least a year to gauge your progress.

As you embark on this journey toward improved mental health, remember that every step forward is a form of self-care. The initial steps are often the hardest, but they lead to meaningful transformation.

If this article resonated with you, I invite you to explore more of my writings on therapy and mental health, detailing my own journey to self-improvement.

Here’s a valuable video discussing five essential things to consider before starting therapy, offering insights and tips for newcomers.

Additionally, this video outlines three critical points to understand before launching into a private practice, providing useful guidance for those considering this path.