You May Think You're a Perfectionist

Perfectionists are often intelligent and capable individuals.

As a child, you likely thrived, outshining your peers and surpassing expectations, earning the label of 'gifted and talented.'

This created a cycle where only your best work garnered praise. Anything less left you feeling inadequate.

Over time, as life grew more complex, your ability to produce flawless results diminished.

You found yourself being overly critical, rejecting compliments for even average work, or abandoning your projects altogether.

Instead of taking action, you would procrastinate as a defense mechanism.

Yet, you'd label it 'perfectionism'; a term that feels more glamorous and boosts your ego.

The Need for Support Among Perfectionists

The comparison trap is toxic for those who struggle with perfectionism.

You tend to measure your capabilities against others, a habit formed from being labeled 'gifted'—a standard that hinges on comparisons.

Consequently, you may spend excessive time in a limbo of creativity, caught between inspiration and self-imposed limitations.

The unfortunate truth is that you might resist seeking assistance.

Highly intelligent individuals often pride themselves on their self-sufficiency, making it hard to accept help.

I understand this struggle firsthand.

Studies indicate that those with high capabilities and perfectionists require more support to reach their full potential.

Failing to address perfectionism means you'll continue to undermine your abilities.

The Cost of Perfectionism

Perfectionism led me to self-loathing.

Each time I contemplated starting a project, I would overthink and plan every conceivable detail.

When it was time to execute, I would hesitate, fearing that I couldn’t meet my own expectations. This pattern led to numerous dreams and aspirations being discarded, reinforcing my sense of inadequacy.

After investing time and energy into various ideas, discarding them felt like a severe blow each time.

I despised myself for faltering at even the simplest tasks.

For instance, when I attempted to create my first daily routine, I spent four hours planning it meticulously.

I structured every 30 minutes of my day for optimal productivity.

Yet, after trying to follow it for just two hours the next day, I gave up.

And the cycle continued.

In the weeks that followed, I devised two more routines, only to abandon them as well. I couldn’t help but think: How could I fail at something so straightforward? Perhaps I was beyond hope.

This mindset invaded every aspect of my life, draining my creativity, joy, and fulfillment. It even strained some relationships.

All the time I spent worrying could have been used to take risks, learn from failures, and grow.

Perfectionism robbed me of time and vitality without remorse. I probably wasted countless hours in indecision.

Understanding Perfectionism

At its core, everything we do is motivated by fear.

Perfectionism is essentially procrastination disguised as a quest for excellence, stemming from a deep-seated fear of failure and disappointing yourself or others.

Read that again.

You are not a perfectionist. You are afraid.

This realization is crucial.

More precisely, your primary fear is often the fear of failure. Other fears may accompany this, but the fear of not succeeding usually takes precedence.

Your mind has a remarkable ability to shield you from what you dread; it will convince you of false narratives, encourage you to evade discomfort, and much more.

Yielding to these protective instincts creates feedback loops, making it increasingly challenging to perceive reality accurately and confront your fears.

Your ego also plays a role, leading you to believe you’re a meticulous perfectionist rather than a fearful procrastinator.

This is completely normal! It happens to many.

Recognizing this is the first step toward liberation.

Reclaiming Your Power from Perfectionism

Once I addressed my procrastination, everything shifted.

I had been reluctant to attend my first Thai Boxing class for months, concocting excuses about not having the right gear, diet, or preparation.

After gaining insight and developing an intolerance for procrastination, I took the plunge—overcoming fear and emotional barriers—and registered for the next available sessions.

Had I not done so, I would never have started; I wouldn’t have gained six months of experience.

The same applied to my gym routine.

For three months, I hesitated to go, citing a lack of the right shoes, bag, water bottle, and understanding; the excuses were laughable.

To combat this mental barrier, I followed the same approach I took with Thai Boxing: I dove right in, regardless of preparation. Now, nearly two years later, I'm still going strong.

Embrace New Experiences

With new projects and ventures, it’s essential to embrace making mistakes and looking foolish. There can be no progress without errors.

A transformative mindset I adopted was to view everything as an ‘experiment.’

Experiments are inherently messy. The results are unpredictable, and it’s acceptable to make mistakes along the way. This perspective alleviates the pressure to achieve a specific outcome.

It also diminishes the fear of not being good enough; after all, it’s just an experiment. Who cares if it doesn’t go as planned? The focus is on learning.

Through these experiments, you can categorize macro goals with their respective micro experiments.

Macro goals are the significant outcomes resulting from various smaller objectives.

Micro experiments are small actions that simplify macro goals into manageable tasks.

As a perfectionist, it’s beneficial to allocate 95% of your energy to small goals and ‘experiments’—bite-sized tasks that won’t overwhelm you.

Instead of aiming to write an entire book, focus on writing 100 words daily; in time, you’ll have a book without the pressure.

Accomplishing small goals fosters a positive feedback loop, reinforcing your ability to succeed and produce remarkable work—something you’ve always had within you.

Liberating Yourself from Perfectionism

Here’s a step-by-step guide I created to help you put these concepts into action:

1. Accept that you are not a perfectionist. You are a smart individual using procrastination as a protective mechanism.
2. Identify your dreams and goals—this increases your motivation to let go of perfectionism. How much longer will you waste your limited time on Earth?
3. Break down your dreams into small, manageable experiments.
4. Remind yourself of the mindsets that help you take action and overcome fear—write them down and review them often.
5. Jump into the experiments with enthusiasm. Keep trying, experimenting, and learning what works and what doesn’t. Reconditioning your mind will take time.

I hope this is helpful!

Stay mindful of your brain's clever objections.

Acting devoid of emotion is a powerful skill.

Applying this principle is the antidote to procrastination.

You might find this article even more enlightening:

The 3 Best Tips to Easily Apply Right Now to Give You Laser Focus

You’ll be glad you did!