Chapter 1: Understanding My Reality

The title of this piece holds a certain truth. As an individual on the autism spectrum with a highly sensitive body and experiencing Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS), I face the ever-present risk of severe reactions. However, fortunately, I've not encountered any life-threatening incidents so far, and I hope to keep it that way.

Despite this, the daily struggles can feel overwhelming. Often, I find myself grappling with excruciating stomach pain that feels as though it could consume me entirely. This pain can lead to what I describe as a metaphorical death of spirit, draining the joy from my life and leaving me in misery for extended periods.

Why such despair, you might wonder? Well, I've been confined to my home for nearly a week, battling influenza B. My family has also been affected; while my son and partner are beginning to recover, I seem to be stuck in a cycle of illness.

Just when I thought I was improving, I suddenly developed symptoms resembling a sinus infection. If you've experienced it, you know how debilitating it can be. The nausea is all-consuming, leaving me dizzy and disoriented, with aching facial pain from the sinus pressure.

Additionally, my Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) is flaring up, leaving me lightheaded and unable to stand for long periods. Just yesterday, I noticed my son's heart rate spike when he stood up, raising concerns about POTS for him as well. Thankfully, once his fever subsided, his symptoms vanished, and I felt a wave of relief. I wouldn't wish my current health struggles on anyone, especially my child.

As I navigate this sinus infection, I find myself caught in a precarious balancing act. I need to avoid exacerbating my stomach issues while managing the symptoms of MCAS. It often feels like a game of chance—trying to find a medication that won't trigger any adverse reactions feels like throwing darts at a board.

My digestive system has a notorious reputation for being uncooperative. There are countless medications I can't take; even common pain relievers like Tylenol cause intense gastritis. Antibiotics are out of the question. Of the few that don't irritate my stomach, only one has caused unbearable itching, leaving me feeling like my skin is on fire.

What options do I have left? There are intravenous antibiotics, but past experiences have shown that they can wreak havoc on my gut health, leading to more severe issues. My nurse practitioner suggests trying a liquid antibiotic, but which one is safe? Given my MCAS, any medication could trigger an anaphylactic reaction, which is a nightmare in itself.

It's a complicated journey to recovery. Typically, I would rely on a sinus rinse to alleviate my symptoms, but this time it feels like a serious infection that won't budge. I'm preparing for a battle, armed with a hot compress in one hand and, humorously, a non-alcoholic hot toddy in the other—although it's too tedious to explain the irony behind that.

Now, I find myself waiting for guidance from my nurse practitioner, whom my friend and I affectionately call "DoctorDonna." I’m curious to see what recommendations she has for me next.

I feel utterly drained from this prolonged illness—an understatement, really. And just to add to the irony, my endoscopy results revealed only mild gastritis. It's amusing, in a way, given that I can't even handle basic pain relief without suffering.

• Apologies for any typos; I’m not in a position to edit them just yet. Remember to take care of yourselves—wearing masks can help reduce the spread of colds and flu. Don't assume the flu shot guarantees protection; my household learned that the hard way.

Chapter 2: Facing the Challenges of Medication

This first video discusses the importance of suicide prevention for individuals on the autism spectrum, highlighting unique challenges and considerations they face.

The second video delves into strategies for suicide prevention and intervention specifically tailored for those on the autism spectrum, emphasizing awareness and support.