Chapter 1: The Unexpected Encounter

In recovery meetings, a common phrase is, “If you see it, you have it.”

I was somewhat distracted as I drove to the grocery store, where I often used my accumulated gas points. Pulling into Pump #1, I heard an angry honk behind me. I didn’t react immediately; I simply turned off my car and stepped out. A tall, athletic woman confronted me with a torrent of accusations.

“You cut me off! What on earth is wrong with you? I was waiting, and you just pulled in! Move it!” Her face flushed red, and her anger was palpable.

Though I felt a slight tremor of anxiety, I resolved to ignore her and focus on getting my gas. She revved her engine a couple of times before maneuvering to the other side of the pump to fill her tank, all the while continuing to berate me.

“This place is the rudest I’ve ever seen! You should at least apologize!” she shouted, her words filled with expletives and frustration. I tried to block her out, concentrating on the numbers on the pump.

Moments earlier, I had received distressing news about a loved one who had relapsed severely. My emotional state was drained and bleak.

“Lady, you need to find bigger problems,” I said, attempting to brush off the confrontation.

As I reached for the gas pump, I neglected to stop the flow, resulting in gasoline spraying everywhere. She burst into laughter.

“Serves you right!” she shouted. “Karma’s a bitch! Ha ha!”

“See you at the gym,” I retorted, recognizing her from a workout class.

“I hope not!” she shot back, speeding away.

The incident lingered in my thoughts. I couldn’t tell if I had actually cut her off, but when you’re dealing with chronic addiction in the family, numbness can set in. Life often feels like it’s moving in slow motion, caught in a cycle of fight, flight, or freeze. I was frozen, overwhelmed by the suffering of my loved one and my own helplessness.

Yet, I couldn’t shake the encounter with this woman. I anticipated seeing her again and mentally rehearsed the glares I would give her.

The next day, I headed to the gym. After parking, I felt compelled to pray, asking for guidance.

“Hey, God, I really need some help with this situation,” I murmured as I stepped out of the car.

Usually, the gym lobby is bustling with people—seniors, young mothers, and teens. However, that morning, it was eerily empty, even the front desk was deserted.

Walking inside, I was startled to find her exiting. We were alone in the lobby.

“Can I talk to you?” I ventured.

“Oh my God, it’s you,” she said with a look of disdain.

“I’m not exactly sure what occurred at the gas station, but if I cut you off, it was unintentional. I was preoccupied. A loved one is very ill, and I’m struggling…” Tears began streaming down my face, catching me off guard.

To my surprise, she embraced me tightly.

“I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I tend to avoid conflict, but I let my anger out on you. I understand your pain; I’m battling stage IV uterine cancer.”

I focused on her words, absorbing her vulnerability.

“I take steroids for my treatment, which affects my temper. Instead of releasing my frustration privately, it exploded onto you. If anyone was in the wrong, it was me. I apologize.”

She hugged me again, and I managed to express my hopes for her health.

“Thank you for talking to me. This really helped,” she said.

“Me too,” I replied, introducing myself as Michele.

“Mary Ann,” she said softly.

“I hope we meet again,” she said as she departed.

“Me too,” I echoed, feeling a sense of calm wash over me, a feeling that only forgiveness can bring.

Driving away, I realized that Mary Ann had sparked my own healing journey, reminding me to focus on my own well-being, especially in challenging times.

Acknowledging our role in conflicts is like adding salt to a dish; it enhances flavor and brings about transformation. Without it, things remain bland and lifeless.

I often resist taking responsibility. It’s uncomfortable and requires courage. We risk judgment and rejection, but the potential for healing is worth it. Taking ownership can lighten our burdens. Though many things are outside my control, this is one area where I can make a difference. For today, I am grateful for that.

Chapter 2: The Healing Power of Connection

In this insightful video, "The Brain and Recovery: An Update on the Neuroscience of Addiction," viewers will learn about the neurological impacts of addiction and how recovery processes can reshape the brain.

The video "How an Addicted Brain Works" explores the complexities of addiction in the brain, providing a deeper understanding of the challenges faced during recovery.