Chapter 1: The Pressure of Reflection

The year was nearing its end, and I felt overwhelmed, as if I were a dam about to overflow. I had fallen behind on numerous goals—publishing, health, and everything in between. I kept postponing the inevitable task of self-review until it loomed over me like a cliff.

It was time to pause and reflect.

As I assessed my actions, the disparity between my intentions and reality grew more pronounced. I struggled to digest the wealth of knowledge I had gathered from various sources—books, articles, and tweets. Whenever I encountered insightful posts from thought leaders like Dan Koe or Justin Welsh, I felt a sense of mental paralysis.

In December, I decided to put everything on hold and confront these feelings head-on. What I anticipated would take three days extended into thirty, but I emerged with a sense of tranquility.

Here’s why I believe this process was invaluable:

I utilized the Yearly Review template by Dickie Bush and Nicolas Cole to guide my reflections.

"In the face of honest criticism, the pain can be unbearable."

I brewed a strong cup of black tea, wrapped myself in a blanket, and began revisiting my journal entries from January 1, 2022. What I found was over 250 pages of reflections. My plan was to condense these into weekly, monthly, and quarterly reviews.

Each week felt like a struggle, and I often found myself frustrated by my past mistakes. The process was chaotic, raw, and sometimes embarrassing. I would read through my summaries, then step outside for a walk or swim, desperately seeking clarity.

No one understands our shortcomings better than we do, and it’s all too easy to fixate on them. Even when I tried to avoid confronting a past error, it returned to haunt me.

The experience was akin to being lectured by parents during adolescence—only this time, I was fully aware of my faults.

Section 1.1: The Motivation of Shame

Shame can be a powerful motivator. While envisioning a better future can inspire you, embracing your fears through what I call an "anti-vision" can drive you forward. This technique allows you to visualize the worst possible outcomes, harnessing fear to propel you toward your aspirations.

Worse than fear is shame—just one step below regret.

Last week, I faced my first workshop with ten attendees. Although I felt nervous, the thought of embarrassing myself motivated me to speak up. The primary reason I accepted the challenge was to avoid future regret.

Throughout my review, I repeatedly confronted my frustrations about wasting time on my phone the previous night. I found myself asking, “What’s wrong with me?”

This cycle of shame can be consuming. It felt as if I was the only one incapable of learning from my mistakes, as I would forget my errors in a matter of weeks.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Reality of Consequences

This isn’t just a hypothetical scenario; it’s life with tangible consequences. If you don’t address your issues, the chances of repeating them are almost guaranteed.

It can be painful to realize how foolish it appears to keep making the same mistakes. Completing the review process was something I dreaded; I even postponed it for a week to focus on my taxes, which felt easier.

The weight of my reflections haunted my nights. This experience was not fleeting; it left a lasting impression.

Now, when I find my phone in hand as I lie in bed, my heart sinks. I’ve even moved my charging station across the room to avoid repeating past mistakes. The temporary pain of change is bearable, but the enduring shame is not.

Chapter 2: Streamlining Future Reviews

In this insightful video, "The Truth About Performance Reviews: More Harm Than Good," the speaker discusses the often overlooked drawbacks of traditional performance reviews and offers alternative strategies for effective assessment.

The second video, "The One Thing You Need to Know: The Problem With Performance Reviews," highlights key issues surrounding performance evaluations and suggests practical solutions to enhance their effectiveness.

Instead of waiting until year-end for a comprehensive review, I now dedicate time every Sunday to summarize the week. I carry forward valuable ideas that require additional attention.

This approach has proven efficient, taking less than 45 minutes each week. Monthly, I compile these summaries into broader reflections, which I’ll do quarterly moving forward.

I look forward to my Sundays!

On these days, I focus solely on planning:

• Designing my workout schedule.
• Planning my meals and creating a grocery list.
• Outlining the articles I want to write.
• Selecting chapters from courses to study.
• Scheduling solo dates for self-care.

After just two weeks, I’ve noticed the mental clarity that comes from batching decisions.

Takeaways:

Yearly reviews serve as a brutally honest tutorial on our weaknesses.

If you’re not writing daily, start today—don’t worry about structure. Just put pen to paper.

Bridge the gap between knowledge and action to liberate yourself.

If time is scarce, prioritize planning; you’ll be amazed at how much time you save in daily decision-making.