Chapter 1: The Weight of Responsibilities

Today has been a challenge. Last night, I dreamt I was teaching Algebra until dawn broke. Even after two decades in education, the anxiety of returning to school still gets to me. This week, I aimed to organize my new classroom from last spring, but with my granddaughter Clover feeling under the weather, I've been running "Nana Daycare." On top of that, my role as the newly appointed Organizing Chair for our teacher’s union, which has around 600 members, is demanding my attention. What was I thinking when I took on that responsibility? I could really use a glass of wine, a soothing back rub, and perhaps someone to cuddle with at night who doesn’t insist on watching Blippi to wind down. (Cuddles with my granddaughter are great, but she kicks like a mule.)

Given that my romantic life resembles a poorly stitched quilt, I suppose I'll have to put the wine and massage on hold for now. I keep telling myself it's okay, even when the song "Bad at Love" plays on repeat in my mind. At least I get to enjoy those baby cuddles, despite the occasional kicking.

So much for my "Attitude of Gratitude," huh? I’m far from perfect, and I’m actively working on it!

This isn’t my first encounter with stress and anxiety, so I remind myself of my coping strategies: Take deep breaths. Ground myself and just… breathe. (And indulge in one of those delicious brownies my mom baked today.) Find a quiet place to meditate, even if it’s just for half an hour. (Sometimes, I drive to Lithia Park to sit by the water.) Reach out to a friend for a pep talk. Today, I ended up scheduling a coffee and backgammon date for tomorrow. As I drift off to sleep, I reflect on my day and ask: What was the highlight since waking up this morning?

Believe it or not, the best moment today wasn’t the delectable brownies. It was a brief encounter with a former student. "C" was at school to register this afternoon, and as I walked past him, he rushed over and enveloped me in a bear hug. (This type of affection is generally discouraged for various reasons, but it was in plain sight of his mother, and I was taken by surprise.)

C was undoubtedly one of my most challenging students last year. I had taught his sister a few years prior and was aware of his difficult home environment. At the beginning of the year, he had no love for me—or any teachers, for that matter. During our first class icebreaker, when we shared "two truths and a lie," one of his truths was, “My dad assaulted my mom after I was born because he believed she was unfaithful.” He shared this with the class as if it were a badge of honor. In a world dominated by social media, C chose to own his story and put it out there before anyone could use it against him.

C has a flair for the dramatic, and I’m genuinely thankful for it. If he were the quiet type who sat in the back, he might easily slip through the cracks of the system and fail unnoticed. His charisma draws many peers to him, perhaps because of his rebellious nature.

This is why I had to take a firm stance when he was caught vaping in class. If the scent didn’t trigger a severe headache, he might have gotten away with it. My management style is to keep things as relaxed as possible, so I had him stay after class to discuss it directly. To his credit, he was upfront about having a vape pen, and we walked together to student management to turn it in.

C received a half-day suspension. This wasn’t his first violation, and there was no way around it. I expressed my appreciation for his honesty and respect. He remarked that I was the first teacher brave enough to look him in the eye and confront him directly. Part of me regrets contributing to his record, which could lead him down the same path as his father and older sister.

Yet, I also recognize that he was crying out for attention, and I hope I handled it correctly. Above all, I am profoundly grateful for that hug today. I really needed it. Perhaps tonight I can finally get some rest.

Chapter 2: The Healing Power of Touch

Touch has a unique ability to convey comfort and connection. In our fast-paced, digital world, it’s essential to remember the significance of physical affection, even in small gestures.