A Thought Exercise to Deepen Your Love for Your Partner
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Chapter 1: The Power of Perspective
Engaging in this thought exercise may prove challenging for many. While it's not complex in terms of understanding, it could be emotionally taxing. However, dedicating just 15 seconds each week can significantly transform how you express love to your partner.
Here’s how to proceed:
When your partner comes home, go through your usual greetings—perhaps inquire about their day. Then, wait until later that evening, when they are occupied in the kitchen or performing another routine task, directing their gaze elsewhere.
Take a moment to observe them quietly for about 5 to 10 seconds without being noticed. In that moment, remind yourself, “This person will one day experience illness. They might leave this world before I do.”
This thought might not manifest immediately. It could occur suddenly, or hopefully, many years from now. Regardless, remember this moment as you look at them in their current vitality. This individual may leave your life someday, and this present moment might connect to a future scenario where you find yourself at their bedside offering comfort.
If they happen to notice you staring, simply smile and say, “I’m just thinking.”
When I practice this exercise, it transforms the atmosphere in the room. I become reflective and deeply appreciative of my partner, feeling a profound love emanating from within. Time seems to slow down, and I gain clarity about what truly matters.
A Personal Anecdote
In my early twenties, I spent a lot of time playing Xbox. Back then, I was a carefree young adult, more focused on enjoyment than on meaningful connections. Often, my girlfriend would join me on the couch, cheering me on despite the fact that she had little interest in gaming. She was there because she wanted to be close to me and, undoubtedly, because she loved me.
Like many young couples, we experienced our share of ups and downs, leading to occasional arguments. At one point, we hit a rough patch. We struggled to communicate effectively, and unresolved issues led to a heated disagreement. I can’t even recall what triggered it, but it escalated quickly, resulting in a night of silence spent apart.
The next day, as we prepared to address the conflict, I received a call from her. She had just returned from a routine doctor’s visit, where they had discovered a lump on one of her ovaries, necessitating further testing. She assured me everything would be fine, yet I could sense her worry about my reaction.
Following that call, I felt like I had been crushed under immense weight. Faced with the reality of potential loss, I realized how trivial our arguments were in the grand scheme of life. I had overlooked the depth of my feelings for her.
Fortunately, she recovered after undergoing treatment. Although our relationship ultimately ended, that experience reshaped my outlook on life.
If your loved one were to pass away unexpectedly, would you have regrets? Would you still engage in petty disputes over household chores?
While disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, it's essential not to let these conflicts overshadow the bigger picture.
A Lesson from the Past
When my grandmother passed away, my grandfather carried the burden of regret for his frugality throughout their marriage. Having grown up during the Great Depression, he found it challenging to be generous. He wished he had done more to make her comfortable, such as allowing her to use the air conditioning more often. Despite being a good husband overall, he was hard on himself.
The Takeaway
There's an old saying: “Never go to bed angry.” I would add, “because one of you might not wake up.”
Look at your partner and remind yourself that, regardless of their current youth and health, time will eventually change everything. Practicing this perspective brings me a sense of tranquility and an overwhelming wave of appreciation and love for my partner. I see her as a fragile being I could deeply miss one day, prompting me to express kindness and gratitude.
By adopting this mindset, I believe we could reduce heartache in our lives.
Chapter 2: Music and Reflection
The first video features Tracy Chapman's "Give Me One Reason," a powerful song that speaks to love and longing. This music can serve as a backdrop for reflecting on your relationships and the importance of cherishing your partner.
Chapter 3: Understanding Love
The second video, featuring Stephan Speaks and Jay Shetty, discusses the signs of true love from a man. Their insights can enhance your understanding of love and relationships, further enriching your connections with loved ones.