Understanding the Pleaser's Breaking Point

I often find myself pondering the limits of individuals who are naturally inclined to please others. Many people seem to tolerate unreasonable or negative behavior in the workplace. While I don’t share that trait, I’ve encountered numerous colleagues who do.

Consider the person who stays late to finish a project that isn’t even theirs, or the one who continues to shoulder the workload of multiple team members without receiving any assistance. There's also the individual who negotiated time off only to end up working because no one else is available.

Recently, my partner, who embodies the pleaser mentality, reached his tipping point. With over four decades of experience in construction and infrastructure, he was actively pursued by a company that assured him his needs would be met. However, just days into his new role, he contemplated resigning.

It’s not uncommon for companies to exaggerate during the hiring process, but he had asked direct questions during the interview and quickly realized he had been misled into accepting the position. In an era where many are leaving their jobs for better opportunities, companies that once relied on deceptive practices to attract talent are finding themselves at a disadvantage.

Moreover, it’s surprising that employers fail to recognize the value of experienced individuals like my partner—who can mentor and offer solutions to less experienced colleagues—will not tolerate administrative nonsense given their extensive backgrounds. Unfortunately, their mindset seems stuck in a pre-pandemic reality.

When his supervisor refused to authorize overtime pay, my partner expressed his dissatisfaction with the misleading information he had received during the hiring process. The manager, caught off guard, resorted to the company's standard response and suggested my partner had a "bad attitude."

However, my partner escalated the issue to higher management, resulting in the approval of his overtime pay.

It's crucial to assert yourself when you're being taken advantage of, especially by an employer who assumes you are desperate for the job or willing to accept anything to keep it. He called their bluff: they need his expertise more than he needs them, establishing a clear boundary.

Regardless of whether you identify as a pleaser, it’s 2022, and employees are demanding better treatment from their employers. There are numerous opportunities available for skilled workers today. It’s unacceptable for companies or individuals to think they can mislead others without facing repercussions.

So, don't hesitate to challenge their tactics and see what unfolds. This is a pivotal moment for workers, and you have everything to gain by standing your ground.