Requests for Private Discussions

In one of my initial corporate roles, I believed everything was going smoothly. I was diligent and meeting my performance goals. However, the company soon lost a major client that accounted for a significant portion of its income.

Rumors of impending layoffs began circulating, and initially, management reassured us that all was well. Eventually, they claimed ignorance but urged us not to worry. Then came the unsettling news that if layoffs occurred, we would be informed beforehand.

As I observed colleagues clearing their desks, I thought I was in the clear until an unexpected meeting invitation from an HR manager I had never met came through—just two hours before the meeting. I had convinced myself that I was safe; after all, I had been fulfilling my responsibilities.

Walking into that office, I was met by two HR representatives. The atmosphere was heavy with unspoken words. I sat, feeling numb, as one of them delivered the news, concluding with an “I’m sorry.” Moments later, I left without my employee badge, grappling with an unfamiliar sense of shame. It’s a sobering realization to discover you’re not invincible.

Lesson Learned: If a manager requests a private chat, especially if it’s suddenly scheduled with HR and lacks a topic, it’s often a red flag. Experiencing job loss toughens you, instilling a survival instinct that warns against buying into the deceptive “family” rhetoric that companies often promote.

The Sign to Flee

In military circles, there’s a saying: “If you see an EOT, run.” EOT stands for Explosive Ordinance Technician—those tasked with detecting and defusing bombs. This adage emphasizes the importance of heeding the warnings from those more experienced than you.

If a usually calm individual starts to display anxiety, even over minor matters, it’s wise to take note. Their concerns often point to deeper issues that might not be immediately apparent. Conversely, if you’re collaborating with a seasoned partner and they remain calm, don’t panic; they’ll guide you on when it’s time to be concerned.

Signs That You Should Exit Early

A divorce counselor once shared that personality traits revealing themselves early in a relationship are often harder to change. This might feel counterintuitive. For instance, if jealousy arises early on, it’s likely to escalate. The underlying issues often stem from deeper, personal histories rather than the relationship itself.

People don’t typically set out to date someone possessive or emotionally unstable; these traits often surface too late to recognize. If you notice troubling behaviors emerging early, resist the urge to think, “I can change him!” This mindset often leads to making sacrifices to avoid triggering their anger, which signals an unhealthy dynamic.

Potential for Sudden Aggression

Having briefly worked as a bouncer, I learned a great deal about conflict and its de-escalation. If someone confronts you with aggression, you are at risk of being unexpectedly attacked. If they seem overly agitated and begin repeating themselves, it’s a sign that their emotions have taken over, increasing the likelihood of a sudden strike.

An old Bruce Lee saying emphasizes vigilance: “Never take your eye off your opponent, even when you are bowing.” Maintain distance if someone is displaying aggressive behavior.

Warning Signs in Your Workplace

Years after my layoff, I gained valuable insights into job security. As I advanced to a financial analyst role, I had the opportunity to attend executive meetings, which revealed the company's overall health. Executives often recognize troubling signs long before the rest of the staff.

If multiple high-level executives leave in rapid succession, this typically signals significant underlying issues. Such turnover is a common indicator used by analysts to downgrade a company’s prospects. Competent leaders don’t suddenly lose their effectiveness in large numbers; they exit because they are aware of potential problems.

Recap of Key Warning Signs:

• Someone with more experience is showing concern (or has left).
• High-ranking executives are departing en masse.
• You receive a private meeting request from your superior.
• An aggressive individual is losing emotional control and repeating themselves.
• Early signs of problematic traits appear in a new partner (e.g., jealousy, anger).

For further insights, consider subscribing to Relax and Read.