Chapter 1: Arrival at Harvard

The journey began when I was packed up in a small cage and sent via UPS to Boston, where Emily collected me from the FedEx facility in Shrewsbury, MA. She removed the cage cover right there, and, to my surprise, planted a kiss on my furry head.

"This is Cootchie, everyone!" she announced to the startled staff, some of whom took a step back—after all, I was a rat, and rats aren’t usually well-liked.

Seeing Emily was a relief! She placed me in the back of her pink Honda, and I thought we were headed to her apartment to start our new life as roommates. However, when she unveiled my cage again, we were not in her apartment. Instead, we had arrived at Harvard’s School of Brain Experimentation.

“Wait, what’s going on?” I exclaimed.

“This is your new home!” she cheerfully replied. “Look, I brought your bed and posters! It’s just like the Stanford lab. What’s wrong? I thought you’d be excited!”

I glanced around at my new surroundings, filled with other lab animals and a smell reminiscent of a barn.

“I appreciate you saving me, Emily, but I’m not sure I relate to these other lab animals anymore,” I admitted, watching a group of rats navigate a maze, desperately seeking cheese. They seemed pitiful, and I felt out of place among them.

Yet, I didn’t quite fit in with humans either. I was neither one nor the other, as the saying goes. At least I had my laptop beside my bed.

“Good night then,” Emily said, leaving me with an uneasy feeling about my new circumstances.

A short time later, while I sat at my laptop, I thought I was the only one awake in the lab, but then I heard a gruff voice.

“What a world, eh kid?”

I turned around, startled by the voice. “Who’s there?”

“Over here, in the herpetarium,” it called.

In a small reptile enclosure, I saw a black snake with human-like arms reading a book titled "The Anarchist’s Cookbook."

“What’s an anarchist?” I asked as I cautiously approached the cage, aware that snakes typically see rats as dinner.

“Don’t worry, kid,” the snake said. “I’m Hunter.”

“Oh great, Hunter? That doesn’t sound reassuring. Are you going to hunt me?”

“Quite the opposite, kid.”

“You can talk human language, just like me?”

“Sure can,” he replied, his forked tongue flicking as he spoke. “I know all about you. You’ve got about fifty-nine percent human genome integrated into your rat DNA. Impressive, huh?”

“How do you know that?”

“I read the research,” he said. “I’m still about sixty percent snake, unfortunately. But maybe they’ll figure out what those Stanford folks are doing that we’re not here at Harvard—post-euthanasia, of course.”

“After what?”

Imagine a horror movie moment where the music builds up and the camera zooms in on a terrified character—that was me at that moment.

“What are you talking about, euthanasia?”

“I heard Emily saved you just in time. They were going to euthanize you and slice your brain into tiny bits for examination,” he explained.

“No way! She emancipated me!”

“Is that what she told you? That’s low, kid. She tricked them into letting you come here under the guise of humanitarianism. But once they study your brain for six months, what do you think will happen? Exactly—into tiny pieces for the microscope.”

“No! I don’t believe you! Emily would never do that to me! She loves me!”

“Sure, she loves me a bit too,” Hunter said. “She gets me books and talks to me like I’m a real guy. But check the schedule.”

I glanced at the calendar on the wall. It read “euthanasia, Hunter,” for next Friday.

“I’m up for it in a week. And if you can climb that calendar and flip forward six months, you’ll see your name too.”

“No! I don’t believe you!” I shouted. “Stay away from me, snake! I hate you!”

“Ha ha ha!” he laughed as I dashed back to my area.

The following day, as Emily came to observe my progress, I requested a break for a chat.

“Sure, Cootchie! Are you happy here?” she asked.

“It’s fine,” I lied. “But what does the future hold for me? Can I apply to colleges or explore Boston on weekends now that I’m emancipated?”

She hesitated, biting her lip. “I’m afraid you can’t leave. The U.S. government has imposed strict security protocols on the human brain cell implantation project. They fear the public isn’t ready for talking, bipedal rats like you.”

“So, I just need to wait a bit longer before I can live normally?”

“I hope so, Cootchie. I’m doing everything possible to make that happen for you.”

I must have looked disappointed.

“You trust me, right? I’d do anything for you, Cootchie,” she reassured me.

“Sure,” I replied, masking my doubts.

That night, while the lab was quiet, I used a broom to reach the calendar. I flipped back six months and, sure enough, saw my name marked for euthanasia.

“Ahhhh!” I screamed, losing my grip and tumbling down to the floor.

Everything went dark.

When I regained consciousness, there was Hunter, gazing down at me.

“Please don’t eat me, Hunter!”

“I’m not going to eat you, kid,” he said. “If I wanted to, I had my chance when you were knocked out. I’ve gone off rats lately anyway; I prefer sophisticated cuisine now, like lobster rolls. Have you ever had one? They’re the best!”

“You brought me back?” I asked, realizing I was in my bed with a washcloth on my forehead.

“Of course, I did,” he replied. “I’ve got three days left; I might as well do some good, right?”

“Aw…Hunter.”

“We’re the only two like us, kid. We need to stick together. Maybe once they dissect our brains, they’ll discover why we’re different from the others. But for now, it’s just us. Look at the others; their brains are mixed up with human cells, and they’re still running mazes like ordinary lab animals. Pathetic, right?”

I smiled back at him. He understood my plight. He was the only one who did.

I learned about the Eastern Indigo snake the next day. Naturally, he didn’t have T-rex arms or a patch of blonde hair. He was almost black and non-venomous, but still dangerous, killing prey by slamming it against rocks.

When I glanced at Hunter, he seemed to know I was reading about him. He mimicked bashing a mouse against a rock, then winked at me.

I realized he would be my friend forever, and my true concern lay with Emily. I needed to be extremely cautious around her; she was a deceitful and conniving individual, and I couldn’t trust her.

To be continued...