Bury Me Under the Pyramid

When your dentist advises you to consult your physician right away, it's a clear indication that your lifestyle choices may not be the best.

This week, I had a dental appointment, and for reasons likely linked to insurance policies or perhaps to make you feel guilty about both your oral health and overall well-being, the hygienist took my blood pressure. After multiple readings, she suggested I should probably reach out to my doctor today. I firmly told her to stick to teeth cleaning and indicated that I believed I had some cholesterol wedged between my molars—could she assist with that?

I've been on blood pressure medication for a while now; it tends to run in my family. But, I'll admit, much of it is my doing. Over the past few years, I've nearly eliminated fruits and vegetables from my diet. The scant fruit I consume comes from a grape variety that hails from Bordeaux, while the majority of my vegetable intake is derived from the animals I eat, who themselves munch on veggies.

I don't intend to downplay the importance of vegetables, but I find them rather tiring and, frankly, inferior. This might explain their place on the second tier of the well-known food pyramid, while meats reign supreme at the top. The reality is, considering my high blood pressure, I may not have a lengthy life ahead of me. Thus, it seems logical—since my diet might shorten my lifespan, and since I want to savor whatever time I have left, plus my undeniable love for meat—that I should carry on indulging in it.

Lately, I've also found myself feeling particularly existentially drained and somewhat gloomy about life. To be honest, I've somewhat surrendered to this state of being.

I’ve prepared meals for myself for many years, vegetables included, and while it has brought me joy at times, The Joy of Cooking has recently been closed tight, its pages collecting dust and crumbling like a forgotten rhubarb crisp. Ironically, that dessert sounds delightful right now, though it probably doesn't contribute much to my vegetable intake.

The truth is, I've lost my desire to cook. I simply want to eat. Nevertheless, I will heed the hygienist's counsel. I will floss more diligently and reach out to my doctor regarding my blood pressure. She will likely reprimand me just like last year, and we'll agree to adjust my medication. At that point, I will probably subconsciously ramp up my consumption of salt and other high-blood-pressure-triggering foods. This cycle will persist until I ultimately become what I failed to consume—a modern-day pyramid, my final resting place.

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