Chapter 1: The Cycle of Resignation

Just last week, I found myself submitting my resignation once more.

This isn’t the first time I've taken this leap; less than a year ago, I made a similar decision. Back in July 2021, I left my demanding job at a multinational firm in Switzerland without having another position lined up. The prospect of an uncertain future was both thrilling and daunting. Yet, deep down, I felt a calling to pursue a more meaningful path—writing and crafting my own lifestyle.

An inner voice outlined my aspirations, even if they seemed unrealistic to others. It was my guiding map, an opportunity to engage in what truly excites me. However, I overlooked a crucial element that ultimately led to my downfall before I even began.

And here I am again, resigning from another position, but this time I'm determined to follow through on my vision for good.

"Could be courageous or just plain crazy… only time will tell."

— Another Day of Sun, La La Land

Armed with the same passion and apprehension, I am resolute not to repeat past mistakes. I ignored my instincts before, making ill-advised choices. The idea of being a writer felt naïve and unattainable. As I ventured down a path filled with uncertainty, I succumbed to distractions that diverted me from my true purpose, leading me to lose both focus and faith. Consequently, I found myself back where I started.

I secured a new 9–5 job that offered slightly more freedom and favorable conditions, but fundamentally, it was just another cage. Engaging in work that doesn’t align with your true calling will always feel confining, regardless of how society perceives it.

I convinced myself that this new role would be different—a young startup in the tech industry, a managerial position, a solid salary, and the chance to work remotely. It seemed like a dream come true! Friends urged me to seize this opportunity, as it arrived just when I needed it most.

But did I genuinely need it? Was it in line with my dreams? What happened to my plan?

I decided my aspirations could wait. I assumed finding a job would take months, yet this golden opportunity appeared unexpectedly. Here lies the core issue: I wasn’t in the market for another stable job; I intended to focus on developing my career and pursuing my dreams.

Yet, I lost sight of that ambition. I’ve never quite learned how to decline appealing offers that aren't right for me. Over time, the weight of accepting things that are not meant for you can become heavier than that of experiences that genuinely harm you, as it’s painful to let go.

And then there was another aspect…

I struggled to justify my choices to those who applauded me for quickly securing another job after a period of unemployment. My intuition relentlessly urged me to stay true to my path, but I drowned it out with rationalizations and external pressures.

I postponed my dreams, and as the saying goes, a deferred dream is a denied dream.

So, what now?

It’s become clear that I must untangle the knots I’ve tied. I need to resign from this new job, sell my furniture, find a new tenant for my apartment in Lisbon, cancel my gym membership, and repack all the boxes that just arrived from Switzerland.

But none of this truly matters.

What’s essential is the persistent voice within me urging me to follow my feelings, to be bold, to invest in myself, and to chase my goals, even when it’s tough to witness the confusion in my family’s eyes or to hear comments suggesting I’m aimlessly circling back to square one, squandering my potential.

Ultimately, none of this matters.

Because choosing to start over, acknowledging my past mistakes, forgiving myself, and granting myself a second chance is the most self-loving and rejuvenating decision I’ve ever made.

Photo by Pereanu Sebastian on Unsplash

When I feel lost on this heroic journey, I often recall the words of the great Bukowski:

"Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself,

don’t swim in the same slough.

Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself and

stay out of the clutches of mediocrity.

Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself,

change your tone and shape so often that they can never categorize you.

Reinvigorate yourself and

accept what is

but only on the terms that you have invented

and reinvented.

Be self-taught.

And reinvent your life because you must;

it is your life and

its history

and the present

belong only to

you."

Chapter 2: The Path Ahead

The first video, The Path Behind You Is No Longer An Option, explores the concept of moving forward and embracing change, shedding light on the necessity of letting go of past choices to create a new future.

The second video, Glitches You Can Do in Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, provides an engaging look into navigating challenges and finding creative solutions, paralleling the journey of self-discovery.